blog nauseam » Image manipulation

Would the real Autodesk logo please stand up?

Steve Johnson — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 06:43:23 +0000

Autodesk, in common with other multi-billion-dollar corporations, periodically spends large sums on redeveloping and then consistently presenting its corporate image. It then spends even larger sums making itself look silly in court by claiming exclusive rights to such things as empty orange rectangles. Strange, then, that Autodesk should slip up online when it comes to that most fundamental image element, the logo for the Autodesk name itself. Spotted on the web this very day:

The topmost of these three logos is the normal, correct one. That’s what you will see if you visit the main Autodesk web site, whatever browser you are using.
The second version of the logo is what you will see if you use AutoCAD 2011′s online Help, if your browser happens to be Internet Explorer 6. Yes, I know that’s a terrible browser and yes, I know it’s not officially supported. However, there are quite a number of larger organisations that still mandate the use of IE6, because expensive corporate software has been developed around its various quirks. It’s still in common use, with 9% of this month’s blog traffic coming through IE6 (just for comparison, it’s 12% IE7, 25% IE8, 33% Firefox 3.x and 8% Chrome). The problem is caused by the browser not correctly handling transparency in PNG files. I have a transparent PNG as the stripe at the top of this blog, but the pale blue background that IE6 uses in its place still looks fine in that context. The Autodesk ghost logo looks awful. This could easily have been avoided with a few minutes’ work.
The third version is from the new Autodesk Homestyler page. Oops, wrong font! The word Autodesk is actually used in five different fonts on that page, in various contexts. Unfortunately, none of those five are the approved logo font. Somebody didn’t read the style manual properly. (As mentioned by Donnie Gladfelter on Facebook).

It’s kind of silly for Autodesk to literally give itself a bad name like this, especially when it’s so easily avoided.

The solution? Let me do it. Autodesk’s logo is kind of harsh, mechanical and masculine at the moment, in common with its previous iterations. The world is changing and Autodesk’s image needs to move with the times. Here’s my redesign.

Comic Sans is such a nice font, don’t you think? The slopes of the A and the k provide a certain symmetry, hinting at the original divider-A logo that is fondly remembered by so many. The bright pink is a bold, positive, affirming statement that says Autodesk is comfortable with its sexuality. The background is organic and human. This logo says Autodesk has a soul. Go for it, Autodesk, it’s a winner!

Where do I send the bill?

Shorn Shaan – you saw it here first

Steve Johnson — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 04:03:04 +0000

I was amused to see Shaan Hurley losing his locks at AU. Some of you may recall me suggesting this course of action a couple of years ago. How close do you think I got with my artist’s impression?

Ralph Lauren – genuinely dumb or trying to be clever?

Steve Johnson — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 05:50:51 +0000

One of the blogs I read regularly is Photoshop Disasters, which recently posted a picture of a Ralph Lauren ad. In common with many fashion photos, this showed a skinny model that appeared to have been further skinnified on somebody’s computer to the point that the poor waif was ridiculously deformed. Like this:

Nothing out of the ordinary there, then. Under normal circumstances it would have received a few dozen comments and scrolled off the front page in a week or so, because there is no shortage of bad image manipulation out there for the blog to snigger at. The image was reposted at Boing Boing, but it would still have been forgotten in a week.

Except this time, Ralph Lauren prodded its lawyers into action and demanded the image be removed from both sites, issuing a DMCA notice. The DMCA request was spurious, as this is a clear case of fair use of an image for the purposes of criticism. Photoshop Disasters is hosted by Blogspot, which automatically complies with such requests. Boing Boing is not, and instead went on the offensive. They refused to take down the picture, instead reposting it with biting sarcasm. Read it, it’s funny. Ralph Lauren, if you’re reading this, please send me a DMCA notice too. I’m feeling left out.

This led to a flurry of comments, reposts and reports all over the Internet, including here. The comments (running at over a hundred an hour right now) are almost universally mocking of Ralph Lauren, its legal team, its models and its image manipulation propensities. The criticism goes way beyond the few snipes at a mangled-body image that would have been the case if Ralph Lauren had done nothing. It has moved on to the fashion designer’s ethical standards and those of the fashion industry as a whole for promoting artificially skinny bodies to eating-disorder-vulnerable people.

Now, is Ralph Lauren really that clueless and out of touch, to think that this kind of suppression would work? Or is this actually a deliberate marketing move, using the Streisand Effect to gain free publicity? Maybe, but it’s a deplorable attack on freedom of speech either way, and a boycott is fully justified. I’m not going to buy any of their stuff, ever, and I encourage you to do likewise. To be fair, I was unlikely to be a rich source of income. Even if I were a female with lots of excess money to throw away on clothes that look really awful, there is no way they would ever fit me. Or any living human, from the look of that photo.

Gaahl’s Tr00 Life Adventures Week 10, and Peter Beste

Steve Johnson — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 03:25:53 +0000

Time for my own bad Photoshop. Truly, truly awful work here. This is the tenth and last (so far) edition of Gaahl’s Tr00 Life Adventures. Click the thumbnail to see the full size image.

This one contains a few in-jokes (e.g. “many Norwegian countries”) from the Mike Portnoy forum community that was the original audience, so much of the original amusement will be lost. I am posting this one mainly to complete the set.

The original Gaahl photograph is by Houston documentary photographer Peter Beste, who has this to say on his site:

In the last two decades a bizarre and violent musical subculture called black metal has emerged in Norway. It’s roots stem from a heady blend of horror films, extreme heavy metal music, Satanism, pagan mythology, and adolescent angst. In the early-mid 1990′s, members of this extremist underground committed murder, burned down medieval wooden churches, and desecrated graveyards. What started as a juvenile frenzy came to symbolize the start of a war against Christianity, a return to the worship of the ancient Norse gods, and the complete rejection of mainstream society.

I have spent the last 7 years photographing in this insulated and secretive community.

I am pleased to report that Peter has no objection to his original photograph being (ab)used in this way. If you’re intrigued or amused by these black metal guys, check out his site for more images. There is even a book called True Norwegian Black Metal, available (of course) in a limited edition of 666 copies.

Peter has taken photographs of other subjects, including similarly confronting ones of Houston rap culture (some include nudity), with a book due to follow on that subject later this year.

Bad Photoshop 4

Steve Johnson — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 12:14:10 +0000

Pathetic perspective, courtesy of the work experience person doing Clark Rubber‘s brochure images:

The same background is used for another table set. The perspective doesn’t match in that one either, but it’s not as bad as this. Maybe it’s just CAD geeks who notice this sort of thing?

One more to come from this brochure, and it’s the worst one of the lot!

Bad Photoshop 3

Steve Johnson — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 07:02:14 +0000

More Fotoshop phun courtesy of Clark Rubber:

We’ll allow the oversized box and balls as an artistic device. But the woman has been cut out (badly) and pasted in with little regard to scale; that water is about 30″ deep. She either has very stumpy legs compared with her skinny top half, or the Autodesk shark is in there and it has given her an amputation at about the calf level. Why is her forearm oddly shaped, and shorter and thinner than that of the girl? And what’s going on down by the ladder?

Why is it darker one side of the rail than the other? Why is the edge of the water higher and darker on that side? Why does the ladder cast no shadow? Inquiring minds want to know.

Bad Photoshop 1 & 2

Steve Johnson — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 05:42:39 +0000

I’ve mentioned before that I love the Photoshop Disasters blog, and I’ve also mentioned that Clark Rubber has provided me with great service.

Here’s the first of a few posts that combine the two. I recently received a Clark Rubber brochure, and from the look of it (and the web site), Clark Rubber is not receiving the same kind of service from its Photoshop people that it provides to its own customers. I could fill this whole blog with disasters from that one brochure, but here are just a couple for a start.

Putting aside the awful water spray, the cut-and-paste problems, the strange lighting/shadow issues, the unrealistic water edge and the rest of it, how did that picture of the kid in the pool also manage to appear on the water cannon itself (sans pool and with the toy at a different angle)? Eddies in the space-time continuum, perhaps? He probably is.* My head assplode.

This magic device not only fires oversized lemons, it also emits a strangely unrealistic jet of water of significantly smaller diameter than the inside diameter of the tube. I must have one!

* Joke stolen from Douglas Adams.

Photoshop disasters blog

Steve Johnson — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 01:05:44 +0000

I love this blog:

http://photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com/

OK, some of the “disasters” are a bit nitpicking, but there are some truly awful image manipulation efforts out there, some associated with very big companies. Look back over the archives, there are some real classics. Lesson to large companies: don’t penny-pinch, it’s not worth it.

I can’t remember any Autodesk marketing image disasters, although some of you may remember being bemused by the relevance of the the short-lived Subscription Cow. The BENTLEY BIN image is pretty funny, though. Does anybody have any other CAD-related examples?

Gaahl’s Tr00 Life Adventures Week 9

Steve Johnson — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 12:56:46 +0000

Where to next on Gaahl’s ever-changing career path?

The original Gaahl photograph is by Peter Beste.

Video – Deciphered lyrics

Steve Johnson — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 12:44:19 +0000

Here’s another video I have done to the music of Swedish metal band Opeth (the first one is here). This band’s latest album, Watershed, does not come with conventional lyrics in the booklet, but rather a page full of rune-type characters. There are actually two different pages in different editions of the album, and in order to work out the lyrics you need to rotate the pages, work out a substitution cipher and combine the two sources.

To save you the trouble of doing all that, here are the lyrics of Heir Apparent. This is the only song on the album that contains only angry Cookie Monster vocals (beware!), so without my expert deciphering efforts (ahem!) it would be rather difficult for the uninitiated to know what the song was all about. If you can put up with the vocals, I think you’ll enjoy this!

YouTube link.

Gaahl’s Tr00 Life Adventures Week 8

Steve Johnson — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 08:40:57 +0000

This week, save the last dance for Gaahl.

The original Gaahl photograph is by Peter Beste.

Gaahl’s Tr00 Life Adventures Week 7

Steve Johnson — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 13:10:13 +0000

This week, Gaahl visits JB Hi-Fi, which is the place to go in Australia if you’re after bargain CDs and DVDs.

The original Gaahl photograph is by Peter Beste.

Gaahl’s Tr00 Life Adventures Week 6

Steve Johnson — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 13:24:20 +0000

At home with Gaahl.

I have done ten of these, and I like this one the best.

The original Gaahl photograph is by Peter Beste.

Video – Misheard lyrics

Steve Johnson — Wed, 28 May 2008 07:35:06 +0000

This blog is supposed to a strange mix of AutoCAD, music, image manipulation and video, but so far it has been a bit light on in the latter three categories. This post will redress the balance a little.

This is a silly video I made based on the song Ghost of Perdition from the album Ghost Reveries by Swedish metal band Opeth. I’m sure the music won’t be to the liking of many of you, particularly as the vocals are partly in the “death grunt” style. If you’ve never heard a death grunt, just try to imagine Cookie Monster singing while he’s really, really angry about something. For the record, I prefer my vocals “clean” but this style is easy to mishear, leading to general amusement (hopefully).

Parental guidance: contains very mild nudity, very slightly offensive language and an oblique drug reference. You’ll have to be quick to spot them, though. I consider this safe to show to kids (as long as you think the vocals won’t give them nightmares), but some of you may not agree.

YouTube link.

Gaahl’s Tr00 Life Adventures Week 5

Steve Johnson — Wed, 14 May 2008 04:29:28 +0000

In this week’s adventure, Gaahl goes shopping. No, it’s not your eyes, the background image is fuzzy.

A couple of things may need explaining. According to his mother, Gaahl is vegetarian (not that there’s anything wrong with that). Also, Gorgoroth was his band. They have now split up and ownership of the name is in dispute. Maybe the other band members objected to what he brought back from the supermarket? After all, he eats absolutely no innards.

The original Gaahl photograph is by Peter Beste.

Gaahl’s Tr00 Life Adventures Week 4

Steve Johnson — Fri, 02 May 2008 06:12:15 +0000

In this week’s adventure, Gaahl gets a new job.

The original Gaahl photograph is by Peter Beste.

Gaahl’s Tr00 Life Adventures – Week 3

Steve Johnson — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 00:07:21 +0000

In this week’s adventure, Gaahl shows he can be trusted around children and animals.

The original Gaahl photograph is by Peter Beste.

Gaahl’s Tr00 Life Adventures – Week 2

Steve Johnson — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 05:02:28 +0000

In this week’s thrilling adventure, Gaahl has a pool party.

The original Gaahl photograph is by Peter Beste.

Gaahl’s Tr00 Life Adventures – Week 1

Steve Johnson — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:16:39 +0000

I like many forms of metal music, but I’m afraid the black metal sub-genre does nothing for me musically, particularly as far as the vocals are concerned. The Satanic themes aren’t my scene either. Black metallers in most cases really are Satanists, unlike most metal musicians who are mistakenly thought of as Satanic by some fairly clueless individuals but who are nothing of the sort.

Where black metal does score points for me is on the costume front. These guys put a lot of effort into trying to look more evil than each other, and the results are frequently hilarious. Do a Google image search if you dare, but don’t have your mouth full when you do or you may need a new keyboard. Some images may be considered offensive.

One of the big names in black metal is Gaahl, formerly of the band Gorgoroth. Like many black metal bands, Gorgoroth is from Norway. The antics of the various band members, particularly Gaahl, make for interesting reading (some language may be considered offensive).

A while ago I did a series of comic book covers based on one particular Gaahl publicity shot, and I thought some of you might be amused (or more likely bemused) by them. Here is the photo in question:

Unfortunately, I have lost the source so I can’t give copyright credit for this image. If the copyright holder wishes to contact me, I’ll be happy to correct this situation.

Edit: The Gaahl photograph is by Peter Beste.

Without further ado, here is the first week’s edition of Gaahl’s Tr00 Life Adventures. Click the thumbnail to see the full size image.

Have you seen Shaan shorn?

Steve Johnson — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 12:13:54 +0000

I was intrigued to see Autodesk personality and fellow blogger Shaan Hurley posting a photo with his long-standing facial fuzz removed. Shaan may be moving in the opposite direction to myself (I’m getting hairier with age), but personally I don’t think he has gone far enough. I would like to see Shaan sporting a chrome dome. What do you think?